Friday, November 11, 2011

The Cop/Doctor/Lawyer Show Cure

I'm interrupting your regularly scheduled blog for this Public Service Announcement...

Are you there? You need to read this. They've been lying to you. There's more to TV than you think, better shows than the re-treads clogging the prime time slots on the major networks. But be warned...your grandma may be reading this over your shoulder, shaking her head, and tsk-tsk-tsking. Don't trust her, okay. She watches TV too, and worse, she's probably a fan of Cop/Doctor/Lawyer shows (an ailment known as CDL Show Syndrome). Which means the networks have her, and it's too late to save her. Your best bet is to distract her with the 423rd Episode of Law & Order that she DVR'd during the ten hour "We Catch the Bad Guy" marathon they run on TNT every Tuesday, then you can make a run for it.

Run where? To the second or third TV in your house. Once you find another set (preferably a flat-screen 1080p LCD...the plasmas burn so hot) you'll need to inoculate yourself against CDL Show Syndrome. The following is my personal cocktail of prescription programs that protect me from the Nielsen-backed epidemic that has plagued our nation for my lifetime and longer. You may find another combination works best for your particular Creatological makeup. Whatever the proper dosage, I pray it's not too late for you:

Breaking Bad

A high school chemistry teacher with terminal cancer resorts to cooking crystal meth to provide a cushion for the family he'll leave behind. Creator Vince Gilligan describes the show as 'Turning Mr. Chips into Scarface'.

I recommend large doses of this.

The Walking Dead

Zombie Apocalypse. Weekly basis. 'Nuff said.

Moderate doses, but back off if you develop any sort of nausea or panic attacks.

Any Post-1990 animation featuring DC Comics characters 

Batman: The Animated Series, Batman Beyond, Static Shock, Superman, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, Young Justice, etc. These are the absolute gold standard for super powered humans on television. Live-Action attempts like The 4400, Heroes, and No Ordinary Family have proved that the costumes and scope mean something.

Massive doses of this (dosage does not need to be reduced for younger patients)

There's more, but I'm afraid I'm out of time. The networks don't want me telling you this, but you have enough knowledge to go forward on your own. Check your local listings and start working on your personal cure for CDL Show Syndrome today. While there's still time.

Join the movement: #nomorecopdoctorlawyershows

Lamar "L. R." Giles writes for adults and teens. Penning everything from epic fantasy to noir thrillers, he's never met a genre he didn't like. His debut YA mystery WHISPERTOWN is about a teen in witness protection who investigates his best friend's murder and stumbles on a dark conspiracy that leads back to his own father. It will be published in Summer, 2013 by HarperCollins. He resides in Virginia with his wife and is represented by Jamie Weiss Chilton of the Andrea Brown Literary Agency. Find out more on his website, Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.


  1. Great post. I've been meaning to Netflix Breaking Bad for a while now.

    I also recommend True Blood and Ringer as antidotes to Cop/Doctor/Lawyer.

    And this post also made me nostalgic for Lost, the ultimate non-categorizable show.

  2. Sarah, thanks. You've got some great picks, too. LOST was the ultimate in bucking the formula shows. I miss it dearly (well, I miss every episode but the final one...I won't harp on it, but to say I didn't feel any disappointment would be a lie I couldn't live with). ;)